It’s every parent’s hope that their children grow up confident in themselves, their abilities, and their beliefs.
Undoubtedly, self-confidence is critical for children, helping them overcome challenges (whether at school, on the soccer field, at home, or in life) with resilience and perseverance. So, here are eight ideas that every mom and dad should appreciate.
Encourage Perseverance
Nurturing a child’s psychological strength is no easy feat. Children need to understand that things don’t always come easily, and success often requires hard work and practice. Perseverance and determination, especially necessary for achieving one’s best, drive us to try again and again. Moreover, perseverance and determination are linked to feelings of pride and accomplishment. So, confidence stems from perseverance. As parents, we should strive to give our children enough space to try to solve challenges independently while supporting and helping them along the way.
Value the Process
While it may be too much to ask children to enjoy hard work, we should expect them not to give up when faced with problems. And, tempting as it may be, parents really shouldn’t jump in and do the work for their children. Such “help” would solve the problem for the child in the moment, but it certainly wouldn’t teach them how to solve problems independently.
Stanford professor Carol Dweck’s work on the growth mindset and the importance of valuing the process, rather than just the outcome, states that a child’s journey and efforts towards the final result are just as important (if not more so) than the result itself. It often takes time for parents to grasp this concept, but even though it’s hard to watch a child make many mistakes, it’s definitely worth not imposing your own ideas on them and leaving room for their own decisions. When the result is achieved, try to emphasize how impressed you were with their efforts to achieve their goal. This will boost the child’s self-confidence and encourage them to not give up, even when it’s tough.
Nurture Dreamers
One of the many joys of being a parent is the opportunity to experience the world through our children’s eyes. Little ones constantly remind us how much curiosity and wonder are innate in children. Parents should help them maintain this desire to explore and dream. We want children to have the curiosity to ask all sorts of questions and use their imagination to solve complex problems. After all, every new brilliant idea started with a “what if.”
Giving your children the freedom to explore and use their imagination can be facilitated by various fun family games. For example, on a long car ride, you can play a game where everyone has to create and name places they would never want to visit.
Explore Different Paths to a Goal
We believe that the practice of exploring one’s creative ideas while trying to solve problems will help children feel comfortable acknowledging that there is often no one set way of doing things. We also believe that this creates a foundation for innovation – trying new things and new approaches. To encourage this, it can be really useful to solve problems as a family together. For example, on a hike, try to find different ways to cross a stream. By building a bridge out of stones and branches, you’ll discover that some stones work well, while others aren’t stable enough to support a person’s weight, etc.
Another way for children to appreciate different perspectives and approaches is to let several children solve the same problem and see the variety of solutions.
Soften the Blow of Failure
Mistakes and failures are part of the growth and self-confidence building process, and they’re not very pleasant. So, how do we encourage children to take risks? How do we get them to stand up after falling and try again?
Self-confidence comes from knowing that even when you don’t know how to do something, you can still do it. It may take a few tries, but you’ll learn and succeed. It’s worth remembering the quote by basketball legend Michael Jordan: “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
Sometimes we notice that our children are hesitant to try something new or difficult. It’s worth reminding them that no one is born knowing everything, and that to achieve a goal, you have to overcome difficulties, even if you fail sometimes. Practice and repetition are two of the biggest factors in success.
Encourage Independence
It’s important for our children to learn that they can master anything and recover from failure on their own. So, self-confidence is also linked to independence. As children grow, parents won’t always be around. Therefore, one of the things we should do is encourage our children to speak up and make their own decisions. Discovering their inner voice can be as simple as letting them order their own food at restaurants.
And again, when asked a question by a bookstore clerk about a child’s favorite book style or what kind of exercise notebook they need for school (even if it sometimes seems like you would answer faster and more clearly for your child), let them answer the questions themselves.
Be a Good Role Model for Your Child
We all know that our children watch us and model our behavior – sometimes too closely! In any case, as parents, we have a responsibility to be a good example, even when it’s not easy or convenient.
I’ll share a personal experience as a lesson, because unfortunately, I sometimes get caught not being the best example. A few years ago, we discovered that everyone in the family could do at least two pull-ups… except me. I joked and said we would never reach 100% participation because of me. My kids were stunned. “You need to try, Mom,” said my then 5-year-old. “If you try and practice, you can do it.” They essentially turned my words, said to them, back on me. So, now I’m on a journey to learn to do more pull-ups because they’re right – I should be able to do it with a little hard work and effort.
Encourage Family Time
Spending time with children and exploring the world together helps strengthen their self-confidence. Although we are often distracted by our daily tasks, we must remember that dedicating time to satisfying their curiosity, playing, and exploring together shows our children that they are worth our time and attention. Let’s try to do everything we can, because that time together makes children feel important and strengthens their self-confidence.
The Techi team consciously creates fun, enriching activities that engage children and help them develop creative confidence. We believe that this confidence helps children think broadly and act as creators, not just consumers.
Now you can go to the Techi DIY section and spend time with your child trying out one of the fun and interesting experiments!
